LE COLONIAL

I went on my 7th (and last) date with Ben, smart guy from Monaco. He's a rigid personality, a perfectionist. Hair molded into a specific shape, button-up tucked in. He graduated from Columbia Business School, and now runs a hedge fund. 40 years old. We met in the French Ambassador's home, and had been going on dates since...

Every date was fun, but time didn't just flow. Interesting and smart, I enjoyed getting to know him--but he wasn't very natural. I started to lose interest on the 6th date when he insisted that we see the worst movie ever, Woody Allen's indie "Midnight in Paris." I gave the film a solid 40 minutes before I fell into a deep slumber. It was that bad.

Until then, I hadn't taken issue with some other things that bothered me about him: I didn't like that he always seemed to be lecturing me.
His favorite topic was: "Developing your Interests." He could have taught a course on that. He thought that I should take photography classes. Over the course of 7 dates, he gave an unsolicited 4 lectures on why it would be good for me to take photography classes.

He also had a weird issue with tourists. Anytime I suggested a place, his response would be: "Well as long as it's not full of tourists." It was insulting. I've been here long enough to consider myself a New Yorker. Now why would I suggest a tourist attraction for a date? The irony, he didn't come off as someone capable of choosing any really hip, local spots.

Surprisingly enough, he said had an excellent "non-touristic" place for us. Though his previous choice was a total flop, I felt like giving him another chance. Le Colonial. It's a little gem at 57th, just east of Lex. It's a slice of downtown, uptown. Chill vibe, great atmosphere. Interesting drink selection, amazing French/Vietnamese ethnic cuisine. With a formal dining room downstairs and a lounge upstairs, it felt like Casa Roma in Mexico City. I was floored that he knew of such a winning place.

Anything with Asian flare makes me think of lychee. Fortunately, they had not just 1 but 3(!) lychee drinks-- 1) Lychee Bellini, 2) Lychee Mojito, and 3) Lychee Martini. Because I've had many a lychee martini (my favs at Mr. Chow) I ordered numero uno y dos.

By way of a long history lesson, Ben explained to me why French and Vietnamese fusion made sense. Conclusion: There was some war that resulted in many Vietnamese ending up in France.

It was strange to me that there existed a Vietnamese restaurant that wasn't a hole-in-the-hall, pho-to-go type place. I was so confused, and pleased with the place. It threw me off a bit. Not your typical Vietnamese restaurant.


To start I ordered the Goi Cuon: Summer Spring Rolls with shrimp, bean sprouts, rice vermicelli, mint, and peanuts...served with a berry hoisin sauce. Good and healthy (read: boring)...nothing different from the traditional spring roll.

Conversation started awkwardly between us, I felt like we were at the point I needed to tell him: I was talking with someone else I liked more. I had just been on an excellent date with Phil and had another date planned with Phil for the following day (we went to an amazing new restaurant...top secret!)


What wow'ed me was the entree Ca Hap: Steamed Chilean Sea Bass wrapped in banana leaves, with glass noodles, roma tomatoes, shiitake and oyster mushrooms, and ginger soy sauce. The fish was flaky with high oil content, as chilean sea bass should be. The flavors melded together to create a warm, satisfying dish of exotic flavors. The vegetables were fresh. And the noodles gave the dish a distinct Vietnamese flare. A heavenly packet of goodness. Inventive presentation. A world-class dish served in an unassuming place.

Ben began lecturing me on some topic. And then he started to insult me. He said that he never learned anything from me. And that I needed to be more informative. What am I, the 6 o'clock news? He said that I needed to become more informative because, and I quote, "You are smart...but not the smartest. You are attractive...but not the most attractive." Now I can take a certain degree of constructive criticism, but this was straight out bashing.

I excused myself to use the restroom. When I returned, our dessert was waiting. I silently enjoyed the dessert of Banana Roll, deep fried, served warm with ice cream. And then I told him basically that he needed to buzz off... And that this wasn't working for me.

Nice guy, but just a little awkward with women. Glad it's over. Now I can focus on Phil. We'll have to go to Le Colonial together soon. He would love it there.